


Journal of a Guardian

by NeitherNora



Category: Destiny (Video Game)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Diary/Journal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-01-28 09:51:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 10,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12603928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeitherNora/pseuds/NeitherNora
Summary: One day I woke up in the ruins of a sundered world. Then the shooting started.





	1. A Guardian Rises

Honestly, I don’t even know how to start this thing. Today has been such a…day. I got this journal from Holliday. She said a lot of new Guardians need something to do–a hobby or something–especially in their early days. Keeps us “grounded.”

I should explain.

I woke up in a field of rusted cars and shattered roads. Twisting and broken highways arched in the distance like abandoned concrete ribbons. I was woken up by this…thing. A tiny floating robot. It calls itself my Ghost. It told me it was looking for me for ages and seemed pretty glad to have found me.

It also told me I’d been dead for a long time.

I didn’t know what that meant at the time and I was going to ask for a better explanation when the Ghost detected something approaching. Fallen, it called them. It lead me through the Cosmodrome–a twisted corpse of ancient metal and broken buildings.

The lights came on and they scattered like cockroaches. Climbing on the walls and scrambling through the vents. They’re humanoid, not too different from us, aside from the head. Four eyes, insectoid chatter. Not enough fingers on the hands, that’s for sure. It was then that the Ghost gave me a gun. Before I could ask what the Fallen wanted, they were firing on me. I made my way through that dark and rotted place. It was…easy. I feel impossibly strong, and my reflexes didn’t miss a thing. More than a few times I found myself ducking behind cover less than half a second before a Fallen gun fired a lance of blue energy through the space where my head had been.

As I was coming around a corner, one of the Fallen grunts dropped not two feet in front of me, knife raised to strike. On pure instinct I threw up my hand to shove the creature away and a blast of light flashed from my palm. The tiny explosion sent the thing flying back, colliding with an abandoned stack of crates. It didn’t get back up.

That’s called Light. Apparently it means I’m well suited to be a “Warlock.” Those are words I didn’t learn until I got out of the Cosmodrome, though. We got away in a ship, rusted and tied down until the Ghost got it running. The Fallen fired on us as we escaped, but they couldn’t catch us.

There was more, but I’m too tired to keep writing. I guess I haven’t held a pen in a few centuries, because my hand is starting to cramp.

Or have I? I wish I knew for sure. I can’t remember anything from before…this. I don’t even have a name. I should think on that. Maybe Holliday has some ideas.


	2. The Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I meet a lot of people.

I’m back. I managed to curl up and sleep in the ship. Apparently they’re not really big on sleeping around here, because there definitely aren’t enough quarters to go around.

When I got to the city, the most striking thing was this big white sphere floating over it. I’d say I’d never seen anything like it, but I haven’t really seen much of anything. It’s essentially some kind of dead machine god, and it’s what gave Guardians their magic. Well, Light. Everyone calls it Light.

The first person the Ghost wanted me to see was a woman named Ikora. I’m told she’s a member of the Vanguard, a group that is in charge of Guardians. Which is what I am now. A Guardian. Plucked from death to serve as a hero to humanity. She gave me some new clothes–the armor I woke up in was constructed by the Ghost from whatever was around, and provided little protection. I asked her what the Fallen were and why they attacked me. Apparently they’re jealous of the Light that Guardians wield. I found that explanation lacking. Something doesn’t quite feel right about this. That reasoning is incredibly…tidy.

Ikora was patient and kind, understanding of my confusion to a point, but I still felt like she was just waiting for me to get on board with all of this stuff. Guardians, Light, the Traveler…it’s a lot to take in. I didn’t think twice until I got here and had time to decompress. Why did the Traveler choose me? What does it mean when everyone tells me I was brought back to life, and why does no one else seem to wonder the same thing?

I finally found a brief moment of peace when Ikora sent me to retrieve my ship from Amanda Holliday. Holliday seems to be the resident mechanic here, working on all sorts of ships and bikes. Sparrows, she calls them. I have to admit, she’s quite charming. She’s the only one who seemed to care about my ability to really process all the information I’m being bombarded with. She even gave me a cup of coffee, which was a warmth I found quite welcome. I may go back and speak with her some more later. She said I could drop by so long as I didn’t get in the way of her work.

Then I met Zavala. He’s the main authority around here, it seems, despite being just one of the Vanguard’s three members. Told me he needed me out in the system fighting against the enemies of humanity. He’s the sort of man I have trouble reading. I can’t decide whether he’s expecting a lot out of me because he’s used to it, or because he honestly believes I’m capable of it. His words were firm and didn’t leave any room for questions, but his tone didn’t come across as cruel or oppressive.

His appearance was surprising, but no more than anything else. I’ve been introduced to two new types of human today. Zavala is an Awoken, a race of people with blue skin tones and glimmering eyes. Just toss that on the pile of things I don’t understand. There was a third member of the Vanguard, but I haven’t met them. Zavala is sending me back out into the Cosmodrome to find a part for my ship so I can break atmosphere with it. Not really sure where I’m going after that.


	3. Restoration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I fix my ship and find a stolen gun.

These people never rest! As soon as I had returned with a warp drive for my ship, Zavala decided to send me back out to the Cosmodrome. I'm just waiting for Holliday to install it, then I'm off again.

Of course I didn't exactly just pick up the warp drive. I had to take it back from a group of Fallen. I think these were the same ones that attacked me before, because the commander (the Ghost called it an Archon) seemed to recognize me. It was big. Really big. With four arms and an appropriately big gun.

I almost didn't make it. I took out the Archon's detachment, but it hit me in the side with some kind of wispy laser. It hurt. Like fingers of red hot glass gripping my side. It knocked me down and I thought I was dead again.

But one of the Fallen had dropped its gun when I shot it, and I just happened to fall right next to it. I rolled over, grabbed it, and charged up a shot as the Archon rushed me. The fusion rifle tore through its head and it fell backward. I almost passed out, but I saw the Ghost floating over me. It seemed to scan me, raking a thin white light across my side, and I could feel my wound fusing back together. So this is what they mean by immortal. Finding the warp drive was easy after that, and the Ghost transported it into the ship.

I stopped by to visit the gunsmith when I got back to the Tower. His name's Banshee-44, and he's an Exo. He's very nice. His affection and respect for firearms is almost contagious. He took a look at the fusion rifle I picked up and seemed pretty offended at how the Fallen had treated it. He insisted on stripping and cleaning the thing, and I didn't refuse.

Just got a thumbs up from Holliday, so it looks like I'm off. Apparently they got some reports of something weird in the "Mothyards." Guess I'm checking for that, whatever it is.


	4. The Dark Within

The list of things I can do with Light is growing. The Ghost pulled up an old recording of a Warlock training program. It told me how to focus on the Void, pluck strands of it to work wonders. I put it to the test in the field, and essentially I can just create grenades. That seems handy given the lethality of my recent adventures.

So we went out to the Mothyards. It's a big field in the Cosmodrome littered with the rusted corpses of old aircraft. The Ghost told me there were once masses of colonists seeking to plant their roots beyond Earth, and this is where they came to depart.

Our report told us that there was an increase in Fallen activity near a sealed passage, and we went to investigate. We thought they'd found some kind of old technology or maybe hiding a commander. But what we found was worse. Much worse.

The Ghost hacked the systems, and was able to open the door. The lights were out, but that problem was quickly solved by the glowing green crystals sprouted from the walls and floor. The corridor beyond was coated in some kind of organic growth, slick and hard. We trudged through the darkness until I heard an inhuman scream.

They were upon us before I knew what was happening, ripping and gnawing at my armor. They shed a lot of my blood down in that chamber. My gun made short work of them, but there were so many. And presiding over them, floating in mockery, was their leader. The Ghost called it a Wizard. It lifted its hands and I felt myself slowed, vision obscured by a black miasma. It hurt more than anything else I've experienced to date, like the very air was burning my throat.

In desperation I reached for the Void, and it answered. As the pain bore down on me I reached out and wrenched a wad of glowing purple energy from nothing. I moved to throw it and it leapt gladly from my hand and consumed everything in its blast radius. I expected to feel drained, but instead I felt the shockwave. The reverberations of power seeped through me in a cosmic afterglow.

The Ghost gathered a bit more information from the Wizard's remains. The moon. It came from the moon. I look up at it now and wonder how something so beautiful could have such a blackened heart.


	5. The Warmind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I have fun for the first time in my (new) life.

We got a report of some strange Fallen signals and I was sent out to investigate. The Ghost led me to a terminal and patched us into a network so we could summon ground transport--a sparrow. If been eyeing some of these things in Holliday's shop, and now I was allowed to actually ride one!

Words cannot describe what piloting a sparrow feels like. You sit on it like a bike, but it's the smoothest ride I've ever had. The cycling whir is comforting at least, and jubilant at best. I drifted around corners and shot over ridges as we went on our mission. I think I might have even laughed at one point.

We came to a beached ship, some rusted carcass of a seafaring vessel long abandoned by the ocean. We scanned a few Fallen transmitter, but all we got was some kind of weird signal. No words, just distorted music. We traced the signal back to the Skywatch and found a Fallen machine running some kind of hacking program.

Of course we destroyed it, but the Ghost says this was important. The Fallen intrusion into old Earth systems was halted by a Warmind, an ancient AI built to defend humanity. His name is Rasputin. The Ghost seemed starstruck. I guess machines have fans, too.

When I brought this information to Ikora, she gave me a new mission. A group called Dead Orbit sent some scouts out to check some relays or something and they went dark. I'm supposed to be getting ready to go check it out, but instead I hid myself away to write this.

When I talked to Holliday about sparrow riding after that last mission, her eyes lit up. She told me about how she used to be part of a sparrow racing league. Very fast, very dangerous. Watching her laugh brings me just as much warmth as the coffee she shares with me when I visit. She said maybe if we ever get the time, we can go riding together. Just for the fun of it. I think I'd really like that.

We also talked about names. She didn't really have any advice. She said I have to find the one that fit me, and I have to find it myself. But she did tell me to hurry up so she knows what to shout when she trounces me in our race.

As if.


	6. The Last Array

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I continue to make new friends and discover new enemies.

I found what was left of the Dead Orbit fireteam. No bodies, no guns. Not even footprints. Just their Ghosts. The sight of them set a coldness in my stomach. There are deaths even Light can't stop, I suppose.

We took up their mission from there. Took their codes and set about activating a massive array. No sooner had it started to unfold did those Hive creatures strike again. Their tombships unnerve me. They deployed their forces and I held my ground, firing again and again and spilling blood again and again.

Their last push to take the array console was a massive warrior with stony armor and a gigantic sword. The Ghost calls them Knights. There's a whole naming scheme I haven't learned yet. Our enemies are numerous, but well documented. Thanks to my fusion rifle and my Voidlight, the Knight fell swiftly. 

It's strange. I only awoke a few days ago and already war feels routine. I wonder if I was a soldier in my last life. I certainly seem to have appropriate reflexes. Of course the Ghost has no answer. When it found me I was less than a corpse, just dust and echoes reverberating on a frequency only it could hear.

When I returned I got my next assignment. There's a Fallen machine called Sepiks Prime that's been giving the Vanguard trouble lately, and my job is to destroy it. He told me I'll be heading out tomorrow in a fireteam of my own. The three of us leave at sunrise.

I'm nervous. I haven't met many people yet, and I definitely haven't worked with anyone but the Ghost. I went to visit Holliday for reassurance, as I often do, but she wasn't there. Instead I met an Exo named Cayde-6, the third member of the Vanguard I'd heard about.

Apparently Holliday's been talking about me, because he knew who I was. He's charming, in a knucklebrained sort of way. Prone to joking just a little bit more than he should. He told me he'd heard about tomorrow's Strike, because he's the one who planned it. He's been supervising a scout fireteam who went out and got the lay of the land for us. He assured me that my teammates for the Strike were exceptional, but I think he'd rather just go himself.

By that point the sun was starting to set. I decided sleep was more important than smalltalk, and without Holliday I felt a bit lonely. I should get to bed soon. Tomorrow's a big day.


	7. The Devil's Lair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I fight, and die, and fight again.

Today felt like a week. I'm alive, obviously. I think. It's a lot to process. My hands haven't stopped shaking since we got back.

I met my fireteam at dawn. Each member of the Vanguard picked a Guardian for the Strike, and I was Zavala's choice. Ikora picked an Exo woman named Conviction-17, a Warlock like me. Cayde picked a Titan, an Awoken named Nox. The two of them seem to have a long history, and I don't think all of it is from combat. I like them. Conviction is soft spoken and kind, while Nox is loud and brash. They put me at ease immediately.

We fought our way toward the Skywatch, striving through clashing Hive and Fallen forces for the massive satellite dish that marked our way. As we approached the structure, we were beset by wave after wave of Fallen. The Ghost was hacking into a system to get us access to the building when one of them, a Vandal I think, appeared out of nowhere. As in, it had been invisible. We didn't know it was there until it had sunk two swords into my gut.

Nox swiftly struck it down with their sword, but I died. I died. I felt the life drain from my fingertips as I desperately clung to ragged breaths. It was cold. I felt Conviction's hand on my face, but everything went dark and I was all alone.

But the Ghost brought me back. Gasping and new, I breathed again. My wound was healed. I couldn't help but cry. Right there in the middle of the mission. Conviction stood over me, covering us as Nox did their best to comfort me enough to move away from the line of fire.

I took a moment and remembered the meditation exercises Ikora taught me. I turned inward, peeling back the layers of reality until not a thought remained. I touched the Void again, and its emptiness brought me peace. Stability. Not even death exists in the Void.

I rose again, and I felt better. Sturdier. Nox took my hand, brought me to my feet. The ground shook then, and my peace was stolen by a new arrival: a Fallen spider tank. We fought a long time, constantly circling through the wreckage of the Skywatch to get new angles on the machine. I died again, but this time I came back ready to fight.

Nox is an interesting Guardian. They wield Void as I do, but instead of raw power they forge a shield. It complements their swordplay, turning them into a valiant knight. Conviction carries herself just as confidently, weaving the Void around her to teleport around the battlefield and strike from any angle with her shotgun.

The tank couldn't withstand our assault, and it crumbled. It was beyond that that we found our target: Sepiks Prime. It was a massive purple orb, floating among a detachment of Fallen. We cleared the room, dodging the Servitor's blasts. At one point I tripped, and the machine bore down on me. But at the last second, before I was vaporized by its weaponry, Nox was there. They stood against our foe, Void shield blocking blow after blow.

Then Conviction blinked into reality by my side. She took my hand and clenched her free hand into a fist and suddenly we were clear of the assault. We saw an opening and struck as one, melding our energy into a single massive blast of Void. Sepiks Prime did not survive.

I was functional in the battle. I played my part. But I wasn't okay. My brush with death lingered in my mind, waiting until I was weakest. Turns out that was in my ship on the way home. The Ghost had nothing to say, but I get the feeling it wished it did.

I pulled myself our of my episode when I heard someone knocking on the ship's canopy. It was Holliday, wondering what Guardian was taking up space on her landing pad. I apologised and looked away, but she saw my tears. She didn't say a word, just walked away. I was about to just take my ship and find a quiet spot to sleep, but then she returned, holding two cups of coffee.

~~I don't know why she's taken to me. I really would consider her my friend. In fact, I almost~~

I appreciate her. We sat in silence with nothing but our coffee and each other as ships passed overhead. I'm going to get some sleep. The Ghost sent a report back to Zavala, but I'll probably need to see him in person tomorrow. I just really don't have the energy for it tonight.


	8. The Dark Beyond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I recover, then go to the moon.

It's been a few days since I was last able to write, and a lot has happened. Zavala introduced me to a man called the Speaker, who seems to be a scholar of some renown regarding the Traveler. He told me about the Golden Age and the Darkness. How all this came to be the way it is. It wasn't a happy story.

I had a little time to recover from the Strike before receiving my next mission, time I mainly spent with Nox and Conviction. They wanted to make sure I was alright and took me down into the City to celebrate our success. They even gave me some civilian clothes, to better blend in with the people. Not that people have a dislike of us--quite the opposite.

The area we explored was a neighborhood of densely packed shops and homes. The streets were lined people, far more people than I've seen at the Tower. It felt comforting to dissolve into the crowd, to be swept up in its current. We ate and we drank and the two of them shared the stories of their own first deaths. It was nice.

Conviction has been giving me some extra lessons with the Void. She's a great teacher, just as calm as Ikora but without the subtle feeling you're not worth her time. I guess what I mean by calm is actually that she's kind. Reserved, yes, but kind.

When I left them, they were sitting by a bonfire, staving off autumn's chill with a casual embrace. They're a good team, and the image of Conviction falling asleep with her head on Nox's shoulder brought me peace. And maybe a little bit of jealousy? Maybe I was just cold.

My next mission came the morning after our night out. A Guardian went dark on a scouting mission on the moon, and my job was to investigate. Sound familiar? Apparently the moon's been a no fly zone for a while now thanks to the Hive. My memory of my first encounter with them made me hesitate before accepting the mission, but for some reason I've felt more confident since hanging out with Nox and Conviction.

We tracked the Guardian to a place called the Temple of Crota, which we found only after fighting through a horde of Fallen. Normally it would have been tiring, but I hijacked one of their sparrows, called a pike, which came with two considerably sized cannons on the front. It made short work of them.

The Guardian wasn't just dead. His Ghost had been stolen and stripped of its Light. At least the Dead Orbit team's Ghosts had been killed with weapons of war. This was some profane ritual. We were able to extract some of the dead Ghost's memories, and we quickly delivered the information to the Speaker and the Vanguard.

The Hive have been building up an invasion force. They're coming to Earth. Everyone's been busy since, and I'm headed back to the moon once I finish this. 

Oh right, and I have a name now. I'm Rose. Nox called me that due to my hair color on the Strike and it just sort of stuck. I like it.


	9. The World's Grave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I raid the World's Grave and meet a new stranger.

Thanks to the data from the Dead Ghost, we found a Hive library deep under the lunar surface. I was sent in alone to get more intelligence. To get in, we had to fight a Knight, which proved a simple enough task thanks to my Voidlight. The mission went smoothly, and I returned to the Tower.

Of all the things I've seen since waking up, the Hive are the only thing that scare me. Everything about them sets me on edge. Their catacombs carry the stench of rot. The Fallen are scavengers, roaming thieves and warlords. But the Hive are...something else. Driven solely by death and destruction. The information we stole from the World's Grave made it clear. They serve the Darkness.

When I got back, I debriefed with the Speaker. He told me that the Hive were planning some kind of ritual to strip the Traveler of its Light. I agreed to seek their cabal and wipe them out.

As I was leaving, I was stopped by someone. I thought at first she must be a Guardian (she was at the Tower, after all). But I'm not sure. The Ghost seemed unnerved by her and I didn't blame it. The air around her seems colder, more still. She wears a bandage across her eyes, and her cheeks are marred by black tears. She seemed to look at me, despite the bandage, and cocked her head. All she said was, "Dusk approaches, Guardian." I muttered something about needing to go and I left. There are some really weird people around here.

I have a little downtime before I move out again, so I'm gonna go see what Nox and Conviction-17 are up to.


	10. The Chamber of Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I consider my options.

For the first time since I woke up, I'm not sure what to do. We beat the Hive, freed the shard of the Traveler they were leeching. I delved deep into the moon and struck down a massive Ogre. The Speaker even commended me personally.

But before I could celebrate, I received a strange transmission. A voice, garbled and strained, warned of an even greater threat than the Hive lurking on Venus. The Ghost is taking this very seriously, and suggested we go to the coordinates they sent us.

But then that woman stopped us again. The bandaged warlock. She said that our fight with the Hive was not yet done, and told me that if I wanted to know more I should return to the moon and seek the Sword of Crota. I couldn't get much more out of her that made sense, but I did get a name: Eris Morn.

I'm not sure which path I should take. Perhaps the moon is worth another look, but on the other had I don't want us to be blindsided by some new threat while I'm off on my own moon adventures.

Holliday knows Eris. Says she's creepy and weird, but has a connection to the Hive that the Vanguard finds useful. That explains why she's hanging around the Tower. She might be an ex-Guardian as well, but I'm not sure how that would happen to someone.

I got to have dinner with Nox and Conviction-17 today. They're definitely a couple, which I only officially confirmed because Holliday and I walked in on them making out. We all laughed, then Holliday laughed even more at the fact I was blushing. Damn blood and skin. How am I supposed to impress her if I'm blushing like a child? God, I hope she never reads this. She's threatened to before, but only jokingly.


	11. A Stranger's Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I discover a new threat.

We followed the mysterious coordinates from the radio voice to Venus. It's beautiful, in a decrepit way. Despite the crumbling ruins and trees bursting through pavement to reclaim the planet, it was the first place outside the Tower that felt human. I can imagine people taking the now-ruined transit stations to work, or looking out of their glass buildings at the crimson tides.

I wish Conviction-17 or Nox could have come along with me, but there are still skirmishes being fought on the Moon and they were needed elsewhere. And Holliday is probably way too busy with ship stuff for a picnic.

Of course there were Fallen, picking through the rubble. Not as many as on Earth, though, and I only saw one Servitor. But I'm not surprised, given what I found today. The coordinates led to a gleaming pillar of white light, which the Ghost could only partially scan before we faced a new foe: the Vex.

They're machines, and obviously built for war. Also, they can teleport. More and more appeared in the courtyard, and we were nearly overrun. But eventually they just stopped. I don't know if we beat them all or if they were watching from wherever they were sending the machines and just decided they'd sent enough already.

The thing that caught me of guard was that their heads aren't that important. I blew a few off, but they just rushed me, bleeding sparks as they did their best to pummel me to death.

Then our "friend" appeared. The Ghost has started calling her the Stranger, so I'll do the same. She told us of a great evil in a place called the Black Garden. I think I heard Nox mention it in passing, but only as part of a figure of speech.

That makes sense, because the Stranger said we'd need to speak to the Awoken to find the Black Garden. While we were talking, she seemed to be carrying on a conversation with someone else over comms as well, but I couldn't tell who. The transmission sounded familiar, though. Then she just...left. Vanished. 

I'm writing this as the sun sets on Venus. It really is a beautiful sight. I'm the only human on this planet. Never thought about what that'd feel like before. There's no one else here but me and the Fallen, and I haven't seen any of them in hours. The only sounds are the wind whistling through shattered buildings and the red waters on the shore below me. I started out peaceful, but the longer I sit in this quiet, the lonelier I feel. I wish I had someone to hold. Another thing I hadn't thought about before now.


	12. The Ishtar Collective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I learn more about our newest foe.

Today was a hell of a day. It started out with making contact with the Awoken in the Reef, which is apparently a massive graveyard of spaceships in the asteroid belt. They weren't exactly thrilled to see me, and the Prince sent us off to find the head of a Vex "Gate Lord" so we could enter the Black Garden.

The Queen keeps Fallen guards, as well as Awoken. I nearly tried to shoot them on sight, but my ignorance was swiftly chastised. It's an odd sight. I've killed a lot of Fallen. I wonder how they communicate. Can they speak our languages with those strange bug heads?

I agreed, much to the Ghost's chagrin, and we set out back to Venus. The Ghost led me to an old research facility once run by the Ishtar Collective. We struck down the biggest Vex we could find and scanned its brain for answers.

As the scan continued, I marvelled again at how beautiful Venus is. I love this place. The jungles and swamps, the massive volcanoes spewing blue lava, all of it. We fought off a few Vex before heading home, but I was again struck by how lonely the place was.

We took the data to Rahool, a Cryptarch specializing in codes and ciphers. He decoded our findings with ease, for which I was grateful. Turns out the Vex are actually one entity acting through a million bodies. Plus they can teleport from one star system to another in an instant. I don't fully understand why they do what they do, but at least we found a way to draw out a Gate Lord. God, who named it that?

I'm going to see if I can't at least say hello to anyone before I head out again. I've been feeling really isolated lately, and I wonder if I've been meditating too much.


	13. Eye of a Gate Lord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I strike down a Gate Lord.

I write now from the Reef, overlooking a swirling violet light full of the wreckage of all Earth's dreams of flight. It's a breathtaking sight, but it also serves as a grim reminder of what we have lost to the Darkness.

We struck out for Venus, and summoned a Gate Lord from the Vex transport system. The Ghost had a hard time with the hacking. I can only imagine, with how advanced they are, what a nightmare their computers must be.

I tore the machine apart with my Voidlight, and delivered its head to the Queen of the Awoken, Mara Sov. She is aloof, above every concern. She didn't seem to care about us one way or another beyond simple curiosity--until we succeeded. Then she made it quite clear that we owed her a favor.

Her brother seems to hold some amount of power. He may even be the second in command. He doesn't like me. I could feel his glimmering eyes boring into me. He shows his teeth when he smiles, and its hard to shake the mental image of a dog ready to bite.

The component in the Gate Lord's head that we needed was damaged. I suppose I overdid it. They gave it to me and gave me a set of coordinates on Mars. Maybe there's something there that can help? They weren't very clear.

Apparently most Ghosts have names. I learned this from the Ghost, my Ghost. I'd never thought of him as mine before. Also, he read my journal and said he wanted he/him pronouns instead of it. I should name him, I think. Unless he comes up with one on his own.


	14. Exclusion Zone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which in travel to Mars...and make a fool of myself.

My first excursion to Mars went poorly. It's nothing but endless red sand, a desert of ruins and outposts. It's been taken over by the Cabal, another alien faction trying to kill us all. They're by far the hardest of the four to take down on an individual level. Each Cabal soldier is six hundred pounds of muscle, meat, and gun. Every kill was a struggle. It's easy to see how they've held off the Vex on their own. 

We broke into an outpost and downloaded all the information we could about the giant Vex gate. We just need to recharge the dead Gate Lord eye we took and we'll have a clear shot straight to the Black Garden.

I'm going to take my ship in for a tune up. While I'm there I'm going to tell Holliday the truth. That I'm really into her and I want to take her out for a picnic on Venus. That I want to hold her at night. That I want to kiss her. How is this more stressful than breaking into the Cabal outpost?

\---

Well, fuck. She's aro. I feel like a real idiot now, even though she said we were cool. God, this sucks. We'll probably move past it. We're still friends. Even so, I feel supremely embarrassed that I never picked up on that.

I'm heading out for a sparrow patrol in the Cosmodrome. I need to feel the wind tonight.


	15. The Sword of Crota

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I get a taste of a frightening power.

It's been nearly a week since I've written anything. Attempts to get through Cabal forces and reach the Vex portal have been mostly unsuccessful. They're damn tough, and there are so many of them. They're really dug in. Apparently Dead Orbit is sending someone out to find a safer way in for us, but until they do I'm stuck here at the Tower feeling useless.

Conviction-17 came to me asking for help today. Apparently she is more familiar with Eris Morn, the witch at the Tower. She trusts her. She made me uneasy last time we spoke, so I didn't pay much attention to her rambling. But Conviction-17 says she's seen rumblings on the moon. Something is happening up there, and Eris knows how to stop it.

We delved into the Temple of Crota. The name, I learned, came from an old Hive warrior, long dead, whose sword drained the Light from the Guardians it killed. Bloom tracked the Sword by the residue of stolen Light, and it didn't take long to find the artifact at a giant underground altar.

I took the Sword in my hands as Conviction-17 instructed. Turning the blade on its own was the key to destroying it. Then the Hive came for us, seeking to protect their weapon.

As I held it, I felt its power flow through me. Dark and Light entwined, clashing and searing in my veins. It was a powerful weapon. The merest touch blasted my enemies to dust. Three old Knights descended on us, but even they were no match--the Sword of Crota tore them apart like tissue paper.

Conviction-17 is talking to Eris now. She said on our way home that I was laughing as I cut them down. I hope she misheard. The power of that Sword was intoxicating. I could feel it pulling me, leading me toward kill after kill. When I look back on it, I want to vomit. Even here, writing about it, I felt it pull at my mind, even though the Sword is shattered and ended.

Bloom says there's not a trace of Darkness in me, but I still feel tainted. I've taken to nightly sparrow patrols as of late. It calms my nerves. I spend every day so wound up, it's nice to have a few moments of peace with the wind in my hair and the stars overhead.

I can't believe I didn't commemorate Bloom's new name in this thing. It's been a long week.


	16. Martian Approach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I prepare for my next mission.

We're getting ready to go down to Mars again. Bloom is bringing us around to our destination soon, and we'll meet up with Jet Summers, the Dead Orbit scout, when we land. I spoke with her over the comms earlier. Turns out she was part of that team that went dark in the Cosmodrome whose Ghosts we found on that mission so long ago. Her Ghost was killed, but she got away and laid low for a few weeks in the wilderness.

She's tough. Obviously, from her survival. But she just has this air about her, like she's a living knife. She barely spoke, and delivered her report in an almost completely emotionless tone. I don't even know what that would be like, losing your Ghost. Why would she agree to go to Mars and scout for us when she could be killed at any time?

I guess that's what it's like for most people, huh? The ones who live in the City. Bankers, cops, chefs. They're just normal people. Even the law enforcement, when it isn't drones, is just...people. How did I forget what people are like? Have I been separate from them that long? Surely I must have been human once. When I die, before Bloom revives me, I sometimes see things...like visions. It's unclear. Stars and lights. Sometimes hand, a face. The memories are there, I just can't keep them.

Anyway, once we meet up with her we'll move toward the gate. I had Banshee tune up my guns before I left, just in case. He's always willing to take the time for it. Even talked to Holliday, too, and it almost wasn't even awkward this time.

Just got a call from Jet. She's in position and the way is clear. Time to fly.


	17. The Garden's Spire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I do my best to complete my mission despite everything going wrong.

We managed to complete half of our mission today--the Gate Lord's eye hums with power. We are lying low, still on Mars. After the events of today we decided it was safer to stay than risk leaving.

For most of the day, the mission consisted of me sneaking through the red deserts while following Jet's instructions over the comms. She stayed high, creeping from ridge to ridge. From there she could see the Cabal patrols and outposts, and for the most part we remained undetected.

That all changed when the path took me underground. Jet passed over the mountain, but I had no choice but to go under it, creeping through a tunnel. It was there that the Cabal sprung their trap. Lights all around flared up, blinding me for a moment as the enemy rushed in. I barely heard Jet face her own ambush before the signal was jammed. 

It was a tough fight, but I managed to make it through the area. These were not their best troops. These were just grunts. Emerging on the other side, I found Jet's signal again. She sounded hurt, but she didn't say anything about it. Just that she had "handled it." She's a very capable woman.

Once we got to our target, things got complicated. I set the eye to charge by connecting it to a Vex spire. This was the first half of our mission today. We were supposed to continue to the other half, which is approaching and entering the Vex gate, but like I said, things got complicated.

We specifically chose the route we did to avoid one of the larger Cabal bases--and its leader, a Primus. He's big, he's tough, and his armor is twice as thick as a normal Cabal. Well, he was there waiting for us with a contingent of elite troops. They emerged from hiding after we connected the eye to charge, and while I was able to take out most of the soldiers, the Primus was another story.

My shots did nothing, and he even shrugged off the greatest Void I could summon. His armor glowed purple as my power ate away at it, but it wasn't enough. He grabbed me, his entire hand fitting around my shoulder, and lifted me up. He shouted something I couldn't understand, and started to crush me.

Then Jet came. She was a shadow, dropping down from above and sinking a long blade into the creature's shoulder. He dropped me with a roar, and tried to swat her away. He succeeded, but not before she slit his throat. Even without the full force of his strength, she took a hard fall. I think she cracked a few ribs when she landed. Thankfully he didn't land on her.

With Jet wounded, we crept away to hide. The cave we found is out of the way enough that I feel safe setting up a light for us. Bloom is doing what he can to mend Jet, but it's difficult with how little Light she has now that she's lost her Ghost. She hasn't said anything about my journal, and I don't know what I would say if she did. No one but Holliday knows I'm keeping one, and even she hasn't seen me writing in it.

In the morning we're going to try for the gate. If Jet can't make it, I'm sending her back to Earth in my ship. I won't drag her into the Darkness. She's already sacrificed so much of herself. She's human, I learned. Tall and lanky, with dark hair. She looks you straight in the eye when you're talking to her, and honestly it feels like she can see straight through to my thoughts. I can't get those eyes out of my head. I wonder what they've seen.


	18. The Black Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I kill a god.

We won. We purged the Darkness from the heart of the Black Garden. Light has returned to the Traveler. It's incredible to think about. I almost don't believe we really won.

Jet wasn't able to accompany me on the assault of the Garden. I sent her home, despite her protests. Before she left, she made me take her sword, just in case it helped. That doesn't mean I wasn't scared out of my mind when faced with what the Vex had in there.

There was a dark, pulsing presence in that Garden. The Vex were almost worshipping it like a god. Once I dispatched them, the Darkness brought to life three massive statues, converting them into giant Vex machines.

It was a long fight. I fired every bullet I had at those things. I ran, I hid, I fought. Eventually I ran out of ammunition, so I used Jet's sword. I don't know how much time passed down there. How many Vex I sunk that sword into. In the end, when I felt my strength fading, I threw everything I had, every ounce of strength and Void in my body in one last attempt. It worked. The Darkness collapsed in on itself, and I was back on Mars.

Everything since then has been a blur. There was a celebration at the Tower. A night of reckless revelry. I was so exhausted after the fight that I didn't even get to participate in the party. I literally slept in my ship for six hours!

This morning I got up and watched the sun rise. The Stranger came back. Said there were always more enemies out there, coming for us. I believe it. Our foes are as numerous as the stars of a clear night sky. Then just like that, she left.

I talked to Jet. Gave her her sword back. She is only a little sore from my "needless heroism" as she calls it. We ate breakfast together while the Tower started to wake. It was nice. Quiet. I'm not sure what she'll do now. Without a Ghost, her days as a Guardian seem over. I hope I can spend more time with her, but with her obligation to Dead Orbit, who knows.

Ikora and Zavala congratulated me personally today. It was a lot to take in, so I just smiled and nodded. I kind of hate being the center of attention. Hopefully from here on out it's just patrols and guard duty, but I have my doubts. Conviction-17 has been running errands for Eris Morn--something about more Hive threats. I'm going to see if she needs my help. Also, the Stranger gave me this weird gun, so I should put that to use.

But for right now, I'm just going to rest.


	19. The Fist of Crota

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we continue fighting the Hive, this time on Earth.

I went out on a mission with Conviction-17 today. New Hive presence in the Cosmodrome. I wasn't too worried, but that could just be me getting cocky after the Black Garden.

Our goal was the Fist of Crota. Another devotee, I suppose. We delved into the ruined facility to find him, and we did, but we also found something darker. A Wizard attacked us, summoning hordes of warriors. It was incredibly powerful, like nothing I've seen from the Hive yet. It fled after a while, cackling. Something isn't right. I've never known Hive to laugh.

Deeper inside we fought a Knight with another magic sword like Crota's. We felled it, and took the Sword. Much like before, albeit more slowly, I cut down Hive minions until the sword crumbled in my hands. We found our target in a dank, partially flooded chamber underground. The Fist of Crota had plenty of Acolytes, but with our combined Voidlight none of them stood a chance.

Eris told me more about Crota when we got back. About how she used to be a Guardian, before her fireteam was wiped out and drained of Light on the moon. I don't know what happened to her, but she was up there a long time in the dark before escaping. She wields Darkness now, not Light.

There's still more to do. More of Crota's forces, and that Wizard we met. Omnigul, her name was. She's stronger than the Hive I fought on the moon, that's for sure. Eris thinks they're going after Rasputin.

I wish Nox could come with us on these missions, but they're busy these days. The only time I see them is when they see Conviction-17, and I don't want to intrude on their time together.


	20. Siege of the Warmind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we fight, and suffer.

As I write this, I'm barely able to hold my pen. Today's mission was a disaster. Conviction-17 and I went to investigate Rasputin's Vault and make sure the Hive hadn't gotten inside. They had.

We faced Omnigul again. She is relentless. At first sight I threw my all into a Void bomb, blasting away the horse she summoned, but it was to little effect. She just took it and kept coming.

What got to me was her song. It tore through me, echoed through my head until I could feel it in my teeth. It drained me. I felt like my limbs were made of metal. I faltered as Omnigul summoned an Ogre. The creature bore down on me, eyes alight, but Conviction-17 was there. I don't know how she blocked out the song, but she stood over me, resolute, and fired my fusion rifle into the thing's face.

Omnigul left. We didn't win. She just...left. Eris says that's because she's planning a ritual to summon this Crota. Our next task is to get to the moon and stop that from happening. But that song still haunts me. I feel much better now, but something about it still lingers. I will meditate tonight. Hopefully that will clear my head.


	21. The Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I stop Crota's rebirth.

We delved back into the Temple of Crota today. Fought past hordes of Hive to the chamber where the ritual was being held. There three Wizards attacked us, and we did our best to fight them off. They were easy compared to what happened next.

In the center of that dark chamber was a huge green crystal. It glowed with power, and I saw three eyes within. Crota was close to awakening. Our task was to destroy the crystal. It houses Crota's soul. But when the Wizards were vanquished, the crystal itself rose from the ground to face us.

It sent out waves of force, pinning me to the ground. As the magic passed over me I felt Omnigul's song in my head again. Even now, writing the words, it lingers in my mind.

Despite its magic, the crystal was still just a crystal. It took supreme effort, but we battered it again and again with our Void, and soon enough the hairline cracks became a vast and intricate web. With one final push, we pierced the crystal, and it shattered. Immediately I felt a weight lift off of me, and I had to take a knee to compose myself.

We stopped Crota's rebirth, but one enemy remains: Omnigul. I don't understand how she's gotten her magic so deep into my head, but I have to find a way to purge it. Conviction-17 says she has an idea, and she's going to show me tonight. 

Jet is back for a few days! She's giving a report to Arach Jalaal, but after that we're going to catch up. I guess spending a night watching each other's backs behind Cabal lines can make for a really potent team bonding exercise.


	22. The Will of Crota

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I silence Omnigul for good.

Omnigul is dead. 

I was able to fight through her song by fighting fire with fire--literally, I suppose. Conviction-17 and I were accompanied by another Warlock. Vis name is Walker, and ve is what Conviction-17 calls a Sunsinger. Vis robes were pale yellow, marked with black trim, and it was honestly a really good look for ver, albeit an intimidating one. I am not permitted to write down what ve did, but vis Light purged the song of Omnigul from my mind like cobwebs in flame.

Their dual melodies clashed, and my mind was free. As vis heat and her dark reigned, Conviction-17 and I sought the Void. It came to us, and we decimated Omnigul's forces. I ripped the life from her with Void, tearing through her miasma. It was satisfying. I hate the Hive.

My fusion rifle that has served me so well since nearly my first day alive was damaged in the fight. Even Banshee couldn't fix it. Something about some crucial partg of it being pierced. But Eris, in gratitude for finally silencing Crota's legacy, did me a favor. She used Hive technology to repair my rifle, and now it hums with power. I've decided to name it, since I've grown so attached to it. I think Murmur. Murmur is a good name for it now. It feels good to imagine turning the Hive's power against them. I can't wait to put it to use.

Another threat neutralized. I could really use a break after this. I hear Holliday is cooking up some kind of scheme, and I look forward to seeing that work out. Dinner with Jet again tonight. She really knows where to find the best food (hint: it's in the City). Walker and Conviction-17 are also taking some space after our mission. I hope I see than around again soon. I owe them both a beer.


	23. Scourge of Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I make new friends, and new enemies.

Hey again. Been a while. Nearly a month? Let's see if I can get back into the swing of this.

I went on a mission with Nox today! They introduced me to some people at the Reef they've been working with. I'm not sure what all of them do--they have a cryptarch, though, which I know.

Petra seems interesting. Okay, fine, she's hot. But I don't have a chance. Still, the confidence she has really grabbed my attention. I like a little swagger, I think.

Variks is the second most mysterious of the group. He's a Fallen, allied with the Queen. He's...gentle, I guess. His demeanor doesn't read as aggressive at all. He just seems to want me to say nice things about him to Petra. Guy is just doing his best.

Ives is a cryptarch, and a colleague of Rahool's. I don't know much about them, but they seem to know everything about me.

Speaking of people who know all about me, there was Brother Vance. He wears the same yellow robes that Walker did, and speaks just as cryptically. I've heard rumors lately about these yellow robed warlocks--the Disciples of Osiris. Not sure what they're about, but it involves a banished Guardian, think.

Anyway, Nox and Petra had a target that needed killing, so I agreed to help them out. It wasn't too hard. I don't know when this became so easy for me. Gone are the days of Mars, struggling against the Cabal in every skirmish. Now I just...walk in and kill. I stormed the Fallen ship and killed the target: the Kell of the House of Winter.

With him dead, our real target will reveal himself. As I understand it, this is part of a campaign to draw out Skolas, a great Fallen warrior who has been a problem as of late.

The Reef is beautiful, but staring out into space has a way of making you feel lonely, even on a crowded dock. Maybe I'm projecting. Maybe I'm actually just a really lonely person. Who knows.


	24. A Kell Rising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I fail to catch my target.

We made our way through Fallen territory on Venus to stop Skolas from folding the House of Winter into his House of Wolves. When we finally found him, he vanished, and the Fallen forces attacked.

Skolas has their support. Variks confirmed that by translating part of Skolas's speech. We fought off the forces present and backed out. Petra and Nox aren't happy, but we'll get him. I'm sure of it. At least along the way we got to have some fun with their pikes. Those things are always great.

Jet was waiting for me when we returned to the Reef. More Dead Orbit work. She stopped to see me though. She's great. It's remarkable how capable she is without Light. We spend a lot of time praising Guardians, but I do wonder now whether we do a disservice to the people who do things just as dangerous, but without the knowledge that they'll come back to life if they die. I don't think I want to think about that part. I've learned enough about thanatonauts from Conviction-17. They disturb me.

Jet shared stories of her adventures. She's amazing, did I say that? Constantly doing jobs and errands for Dead Orbit and the Vanguard. The air around her just has this air of control and calm, despite her circumstances. She's decisive and motivated. Honestly she's pretty inspiring. She's the kind of woman who can make you feel valuable with just a few words and a smile. I wish I could be as sociable.

...shit.


	25. The Silent Fang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I finally contribute to the hunt for Skolas.

Our continued efforts to track Skolas have been met with nothing but failure. This task is taking a toll on Nox, I can tell. I'm not sure why they're so dead set on this. There must be some personal score there. 

I wasn't much use to Nox or Petra, so I went to Venus to do my own digging. After scrounging around a few Fallen outposts I was able to retrieve one of their communicators. Bloom recommended I bring it to Variks, and I did. He was able to use it to track a group of assassins called the Silent Fang to Earth.

These were notorious killers, known for striking civilian targets in the past. Nox came with me and we sought them out, using the transmitter from Venus to trace their location. Their den wasn't too far from where I first woke up. It was cramped and cluttered, littered with traps to deter us. But we pressed on.

We came to a clearing, a labyrinthine junkyard of rusted cars. In that mess of metal and first, they attacked us. They were, as their name would imply, extremely stealthy. But moments after they got the drop on us, we revived and fought back. It was a tough fight. Box got into a swordfight with the Captain while I was busy dealing with a pack of Vandals.

Nox won, of course. They're tough like that. When we examined the Fang's equipment, we found that they'd been sent here by, you'll never guess, Skolas. We have a link again: the House of Kings. Seems Skolas is attempting to consolidate the Fallen Houses under his rule. Calls himself the Kell of Kells. Variks said it was an old Fallen legend.

Actually, he said Eliksni. That's what they call themselves. I was intrigued to learn about them, and Variks said he's tell me more once we've found Skolas and delivered justice upon him.


	26. The Ruling House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I strike a hearty blow against the House of Wolves.

We made some real progress today! We were able to track the House of Wolves to the Cosmodrome, where they were to bring the House if Kings into the fold. But we got there first! Three Barons of the Wolves were leading the group, and Nox and I got the drop on them.

The fight was a tough one, but we triumphed. Now we know where Skolas is, too! Tracked him from the Barons' equipment. Tomorrow we head to Venus and track him down for good!

We celebrated tonight. Nox and Petra and I. Nothing extravagant, just a half of a bottle of wine between the three of us. Variks was there, but he didn't drink. I wonder what effects alcohol has on Fallen. We also spoke with Conviction-17 over the comms, and I miss her. Nox does too, but in a different context.

I talked to Jet as well, and we're going to meet up after I finish this whole Skolas thing. Dead Orbit has some missions that need completion, I think, and Jet recommended I help out. I look forward to seeing her again.


	27. Queen's Ransom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I capture Skolas, Kell of Kells.

We've done it. We finally found Skolas. It was a hell of a day, and I'm exhausted. It started out fine--the Wolves were making no effort to hide themselves this time. We tracked them to a place cled the Vault of Glass. I don't know much about it, but it seems to be a big deal. They were trying to take control of some kind of Vex tech.

We stopped them, but Skolas was nowhere to be found. As we emerged we got word from Petra. Skolas had taken his ketch to a Vex tower and was stealing more Vex technology. We fought our way to the top and we found Skolas waiting for us.

Fallen started teleporting in all around us. Skolas was taking his own soldiers through time, which I guess means we killed different versions of the same Fallen multiple times? I'm not sure how this stuff works. The Vex are weird.

But we did our job and took him down. When we finally defeated him, Mara Sov herself contacted us. As a Reef ship approached and took Skolas into custody, the Queen thanked us personally. I guess this makes us even after their help getting us into the Black Garden. Feels good to pay off debts, you know?

Petra gave me a Reef gun as thanks. It's a beautiful sidearm, which I've named Dynasty. I had Banshee look it over and he confirmed that it's a damn fine piece of work. I think I'll just hold on to it. I wonder if anyone else names their guns. I feel a little embarrassed thinking about it.

Nox finally relaxed after we returned. They were so bent on catching Skolas that I was starting to get worried. I asked, finally, why they wanted to find him so badly. They told me about their last encounter with Skolas, about the missing member of their fireteam. They and Conviction-17 had had another partner, once. Skolas killed him--and his Ghost.

Nox looks like a huge weight has been taken off their shoulders. Conviction-17 was thrilled to see us again, and I even heard Nox make a few jokes again once things calmed down. I left them a while ago. I know they'll want some privacy.

There are still Fallen threats out there, of course. And Vex, and Cabal, and Hive. But the evening is cool, and I have a sparrow waiting for me to ride it again.


End file.
